Read this with a pinch of salt and a spoonful of sugar. The same advice goes for 90% of my other posts, lmao.

There’s so many languages—all of them having their own words, their sentences structures, their syntaxes, punctuations, grammatical rules, cliched terms, improper usages—that for one who is initiated to more than 5 at a time, the rules begin getting chaotic; they stop making sense, and then that initiate learns another one, and another, and then  CLICK!  All the rules fall into places, everything makes sense. Until he learns one more, and then everything is chaos all over again. And the cycle repeats itself. Ask Ziad Fazah, he speaks 59 languages, he’ll tell you I’m shit you not.

I’m fluent in English, Urdu, Punjabi; I can speak conversational Arabic and Farsi, can understand bits of French, Spanish, and German; Then there’s the whole sub-area of local languages other than the three I earlier mentioned: pashto, siraiki, hindko, sindhi of which I only understand 5-10 words of; Other than all that, there’s the programming languages i.e. C++, C#, C, php, JavaScript, HTML/CSS, Ruby on Rails, AngularJS, python, and assembly language, and one last: Prolog.

My point being, when you’ve got your hentai-tentacles into so many jars of languages all at the same time “Wh’ch idjit wuda thunk it?” and “Unnhh unnhh unhhh whaddaya wan?” don’t seem out of places as alarmingly incorrect sentences. Uncommon, yes; incorrect, no.

There are no incorrect sentences, no incorrect usage of language, save for those which cannot be computed. Qweqwef SDuuuu ERERHdf  <- There, that doesn’t make any sense, now, does it? Actually, on second thought, it does make some sense. It’s the sound a queef makes.

A lot of people have asked me why I am throwing away a 6-figure future in computer science and programming over a short writing fling. To them I say, firstly, I am not throwing that future away. I’m getting my degree, ain’t I? Sure, my GPA’s not skyrocketing to 3.99, and sure, I’m not the most studious student in the university, but I’m showing up. And secondly, writing’s not some one-night stand for me that I’ll grow out of; I’ve been writing since I can remember, and I’ll be writing for as long as I can. If anything, Comp. Sci. is the fling and writing’s the permanent thing. But its all code. It’s all code.

What the computer computes by compiling programming languages, our brain does the same to languages in general; it’s this one huge compiler perceiving the meaning of words and providing us with mental projector screen juice to conjure up images, smells, sounds, and all that wonderful crap that makes reading Ray Bradbury a 100th time just as pleasuresome as the 1st, and …. you get the point. (I wanna write more but my hand’s hurting like one mean sumbitch)

As a programmer, I believe in the correct placement of commas, semicolons, parentheses, full stops, em dashes, exclamation marks, but I also believe in being lenient where there’s room; trust in that zillion dollar processor in between your ears and let it all compile.

In the meantime, compile this 12-word flash fic : Faust, the flibbertigibbet philanthropist fell in a fro-yo fountain; fighting was futile.

Peace out.