My head throbbed with violent pain that made me want to do violent things to myself. Like smash my head against the wall. Or beat it with a baseball bat like Negan did.

I don’t know if Negan did that or not. I only saw the memes. I haven’t actually gotten a chance to watch The Walking Dead past the second season. Too much drama for a post apocalyptic zombie TV show.

Nevertheless, let’s get back to the headache. I knew what was causing it. The temperature. It’s been too cold for the past few weeks and today it kind of just reached an all time low. And we don’t have a heating system in the house. We do have a kerosene heater but we save that for the morning, when the kids have to get ready for school. It’s colder then than it’s now.

I tried drinking a cup of tea and then smoking a cigarette, but that didn’t work. I’ve a jacket on and a pair of socks on too, but sadly I don’t have a beanie that I can wear. The headache worsens. I can’t take it. I know, I know, it’s too much exaggeration for something too minute and trivial. The Syrians are living at the moment without roofs on their heads and without food to eat and with constant fear of the next airstrike. It kind of puts my headache in perspective.

At the same time, having brought up in a privileged atmosphere with every single commodity within my reach, this headache feels like the world’s worst thing to me right now. Look at me, all bitching, whining and moaning about my head.

I get up from in front of my computer and make for the kitchen where my sister’s making macaroni and sauce for herself. I hate her for always doing shit for herself and not for others, but to be honest I don’t think I am being fair saying that.

And then it picks up a pattern. Right temple. Left temple. Middle of the head and stop. Back of the head, nape of the neck, the forehead. Stop. It’s almost like my head’s being played like a xylophone and every single throb resounds in symphonic pain.

Final exams are in one week, I have to go to a cousin’s wedding, my girlfriend-of-sorts is being over-sentimental and completely out of my comprehensible spectrum right now, I have a lot of work to do and am running out of time…Queerly enough, my brain’s red light system  has gone out of order. It’s not the meds, it’s not something because of something that I am taking, no. It’s a defense mechanism, at least that’s what I have understood about it, that triggers itself into activation every time the going gets tougher than usual. And lately, it’s been tougher than usual. I like this feeling of recklessness and carefreeness that surges through me when all the alarms are blaring warningly.

The headache. Oh yeah. My brother, ten years younger than me, came in the room a moment ago with a steaming cup of tea. Tea always works wonders. I know I said that I tried drinking it earlier, but this time I am sure that I’ll be healed by it. Too much of tea can never be bad. God bless my little brother.