Unh, Unh, Unh, Whaddaya Whaddaya Wha?

Hey mister you got one of them mint joolips?

Nah kid, I aint got nothing of the sort, got a cigarette if you wanna bum one

No thanks siree, momma always said those things give ye cancer

Do they now? My grandpa, a hundred and eight, still alive, smokes them every day

You tell your mamma that, boy.

Now come and sit beside me, I won’t bite ya sunny


Tell me why yerr here?

Well, I heard you can tell the future sir

That may or may not be true, tell me, do you have the green?


Money boy! the Washington? Do you got that green money bill?

I only have five dollars

That’ll get you one prediction, that’s it. No more, sorry boy

Just need the one sir

Aight, ask what you want

There’s this girl…

Ah, there’s always a girl son. Always a girl.

Well, she’s older than me, she’s pretty like that too, and I am a bit too shy

Arent ya?

Yas sir, but see, the problem is this, I asked her out to junior prom

Well, that’s good now, the man said and smoked his Winchester

Yeah but not really. I kinda put a letter in her locker and ran off

I want you to predict if she’s gonna read it and say yes

Hold on now boy, that’s two predictions and not one

I’ll give you another five dollars next week when my dad gives it to me for the flicktoons

Don’t bother about that now sonny, I’ll tell you something, that girl’s not for you boyo

What? The boy asked wide eyed and shocked at the answer

Yeah boy, I can see it clearly, that girl aint for you. Hell, for all it matters she already got a boyfriend

I would like my five dollars back!

Why? Because you didn’t like what I told you? Sorry boy, but that’s how the world works

Fuck you Stephen King

Well Fuck you too Kid